Too late to say sorry
by Miztical-Dragon
Summary: Will it be too late for apologies when there's nothing left? Will Sango be able to move on with her life with a lover's death on her hands? Or will she too become consumed by depression? [Complete] Deathfic
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha and CO. I do own the plot for this story and right now I own the words because I said so. **_

_Hey there! This is a THREE part STORY! This is NOT a story for people looking for a happy ending. ANGST IS NEAR!_

_If you want the entire view of this story please listen to "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley because that song inspired this story. That and my lovely friend Mike because he helped me with the outline plot and my summary. THANKS! _

_Pairings: Miroku/Sango _

_Rating: Pg-13 maybe R I dunno. _

_**Too late to say sorry.**_

_By Miztikal-Dragon_

It was late on a Friday night, he had been at the bar for hours, drinking as if there was no tomorrow. The bartender had already given him that "I'm not going to give you anymore because you're drunk," look, and if he could he would have told the man off. Things just weren't going how he had planned. His black hair was laying lifelessly against his tanned face, and his blue eyes had dark circles under them from lack of sleep. He was a man with nothing left to look forward to, he was lost.

He hadn't always been this way, he had once been in love with the most beautiful woman in the world, but like everything else, he screwed it up. They had been together since the beginning of high school, an on and off relationship, but one none the less. She was perfect and even better because she understood who he was, she accepted him for who he was, taking the good with the bad. However people had their limits, and so did she. He didn't mean to do what he had, but it had been a mistake that ended up costing him dearly.

All it had taken was one night drunk at a friend's bachelor party for him to destroy the only thing that made sense. One certain girl to shatter his hope of ever being truly happy with his one and only love. He didn't want to tell her that he had had an affair, but it came back to bite him in the ass and when she had found out all hell had broken loose. Sango had tossed him to the curb after an angry fight filled with tears and screams. She told him that she couldn't love him and he begged for her to understand.

They lived in a small town so why he didn't think it would get back to her was beyond him, but the thought of telling her twisted his heart, she had had so much heartbreak as it was and he didn't want to add to it. Yet in the end the only thing it did was ruin everything, and ripped a whole in both of their hearts. That was five months ago and every day he called her to try and explain to her what happened, but every day she merely hung up her phone or told him through a friend not to call. He was dying on the inside and he no longer knew what to do.

With every rejection he would lose a part of himself and try filling it with a bottle of something cold, something that would chase away the emptiness that was him. It didn't matter what it was, brandy, whiskey, vodka, because all he needed was a way to get her out of his mind, a way for him to live a little in the hell that he had created for himself.

Pulling out his wallet and paying the bartender, Miroku sighed to himself and left the small time bar. It was no use anymore, the alcohol no longer had the same affect and it didn't take away his pain, it only added to it and made him even more miserable than the day before. Glancing down at his watch as the cold air rose gooseflesh onto his skin, he felt something disappear from his heart. Something told him that it was early enough to call her, to once again beg her to sit down so he could make up for everything and going over to the nearest payphone, he closed the door and rested his head against the cold glass.

He closed his eyes after dialing her number, he had it memorized by heart and listening to the rings his heart grew heavier. She wasn't going to answer her phone was she? He was correct as her soft voice floated into his ear, teasing him as the answering machine recited her recording. He sighed heavily as he tried to think of something to say and as the beep rang into his eardrum he spoke.

"Hey Sango it's me Miroku," he sounded pathetic even to himself but he couldn't help it. "I know that it's been five months now and I know that I call you everyday saying the same things, but I miss you so much. Please don't do this to me, don't give up on us like this just because I made one tiny mistake. I love you Sango, I really do and if you care about me at all you would at least give me a chance to make things better. You remember where we shared our first kiss right? Over at Emerson bridge, well if you can find it in your heart to listen to me please meet me there tonight at six. I'll understand if you don't show up, but if you're not there I don't know what I'll do, I'll just die if I don't see you again Sango. I love you so much, please forgive me. I didn't mean for it to happen. I'm sorry."

Miroku reluctantly hung up the phone and found his way to his beat up Buick. He smiled a sad smile as he sat in the driver's seat, he and Sango used to go cruising in this car, they had shared such intimate moments together in the backseat, and now it was just a reminder of how much he had screwed up and all the precious moments that had been torn from his fingers. Starting the engine and pulling his car out onto the road, he headed home. He would need to get himself ready to meet her at the bridge, he needed to look his best if he wanted any chance that would give her back to him.

There would be five hours until he would be at the designated place waiting to see her beautiful face and he didn't know what to do with himself until then. He could go and hang out with InuYasha, his closest friend, but he was probably hanging with his girlfriend, Kagome; the two of them made the cutest couple and they were lucky that nothing had come in between them. It was more than obvious to say that he was jealous, because honestly he was. In his mind it wasn't fair why nothing worked out for him, why he had to work so hard just to get a kick in the face and have his earnings taken away from him before he could actually enjoy it. It was safe to say that for him since Sango threw him out life was worse then hell and in a way she had broken his heart by giving up so easily.

Somehow he had survived those long hours and eventually made his way back to that very spot. His burgundy dress shirt was loose on his torso and his black dress pants and shoes made him feel like a suit. Sango had told him how much she loved the outfit, hell she had bought it for him for Christmas the year before, but he wore it for her. His car was parked a few yards down the road at the shoulder, there wasn't really enough room by the bridge to park his and Sango's car, so he walked a ways just so she wouldn't have to. Emerson bridge wasn't made out of wood, but surprisingly metal and was big enough to look like a big city bridge, but was for nothing but the small town. It was surrounded by forestry and though it stuck out a little, over time it had become a part of the picture , a place where even the rarest of flowers would have been honored to grow.

The clouds in the sky foretold his misery but he leaned against the metal and waited for her to come. Something told him deep down that she would and there was nothing that would make him move from that very spot, he would wait all night if he had to. Miroku knew that there was nothing to be really worried about but there were thoughts in the back of his mind screaming 'what if she didn't come?' Digging into his pants pocket, he pulled out the promise ring he had given Sango during their junior year of high school. He had given it to her, the two of them promising to marry each other when the perfect moment came and four years had past since then and the moment had yet to occur.

He fingered it longingly before he slipped it onto his thumb, it was the only place where it would fit him and he refused to put it around his neck. His promise needed to be on a finger where it would sparkle with brilliance, where it would show off the beauty of a woman in love. That was one of the reasons why he had bought it for her. She was a woman who was once in love with him, and in a way he deserved the outcome, but he couldn't accept it. He refused because they were meant to be together, to grow old and have kids, grandchildren and die when they were old and wrinkled in bed together in their sleep. Yes, he had planned it all out and it would have made the perfect movie.

Six had come and gone so quickly and so had the entire night. He still waited though, he wouldn't leave until she came and listened, Miroku was determined, but his mental strength wasn't going to last forever. He had had the common sense to bring his cell phone and he even called his home phone to check for any messages and there was nothing. No messages with her confirming or denying coming to him. His heart had dropped to his stomach, but he merely sat down on the ground, held his knees and waited. He told her that he'd be there and he would.

After a while he began to lose hope and devastation settled in his entire being. The only thing left that he had to look forward to was the hope that he was placing on Sango, the hope that she would come but he was losing that quickly as the hours passed by him. He stayed true to his word and never left the bridge, and he rested his head in his arms and silently cried out his frustration. It was more than certain that about thirty hours later that there would be no Sango coming to save him. She had thrown back everything that ever held them together and stomped on his heart.

He was a broken man.

The rain had began to fall around eleven and they hid his tears from the forest and any being that could see him from the shadows. It was all gone, he had put his heart out on a limb and it was lit on fire. Looking down at his cell phone as the rain soaked his body the tears swelled in his eyes again, there was no point in going on, not after this. He couldn't handle living life with out her and if she didn't want to be with him then that was okay, but he wasn't going to stick around waiting for something that would never be his. He wasn't strong enough to continue on with the misery of living.

Getting up from his place on the ground, he wiped his eyes with his arm and headed towards the middle of the bridge. The memory of his time with her flashed through his mind and tore at him even more. Mentally he wished that there was another way, but he knew better, this was his only hope that he had left. There just wasn't a life without Sango with him, he was an empty shell without her and he couldn't deny it any longer. His body was cold and he could feel himself trembling with fear and sadness as he climbed onto the railing. This was it. Taking one last longing glance back to where his car was parked, he closed his eyes, there was no going back now. Lighting danced across the sky and he smiled a sad smile.

"I Love you Sango,"

And then he let go.

**E/N:** _Okay I know that this is sad, but please bare with me. There are two more parts to this story, and I will post the next one hopefully sometime later. I've actually got to write it first. I would have started but my mind is all jumbled from crying and from mike teasing me. Feel free to flame me because it's all good. PLEASE REVIEW!_

_Until next time, _

**Krystal. **


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha and CO. I do own the plot for this story and right now I own the words because I said so. **_

_Hey there! This is a THREE part STORY! This is NOT a story for people looking for a happy ending. ANGST IS NEAR!_

_If you want the entire view of this story please listen to "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley because that song inspired this story. _

_Please excuse all spelling and grammar mistakes, it's about 1:30 in the morning and I'm supposed to be up for school in about 3 1/2 hours._

_Pairings: Miroku/Sango _

_Rating: Pg-13 maybe R I dunno. _

_**Too late to say sorry.**_

_By Miztikal-Dragon_

_**Part Two**_

Sango sighed heavily as she closed her front door. It had been such a long day and she was glad that it was over. The diner that she worked had at been filled with customers all day long, mainly teenagers, but then again it was money in her pocket so who was she to complain. Truth be told she had been off work since three, but her younger brother Kohaku had called, his voice low and scratchy. He begged her to come over and take care of him, he had caught something and couldn't stand to be alone so like a loving sister, she went to him.

She spent hours trying to break his fever, cleaning up the vomit from the carpet, and holding his hand while he slept and in the end she was more exhausted then when she worked during the holidays. At first Sango didn't think that he had caught something, but after a while it was more than obvious that he had. Her brother was barely eighteen and living in a small guest house behind their parents place, he had told her that it was cheaper because there were no apartment complexes, but she secretly believed that he wasn't ready to leave their father alone.

He was a retired police chief with bad arthritis in his knees and needed to be supervised. Their mom, god rest her soul, had died in a freak accident at the school seven years ago. They still hadn't been able to find out what exactly started the fire, but that was long ago and everyone in the small town tried not to bring up bad memories. She had to admit that her family was pretty old, her father in his late fifties, her and her brother had been born later in their life, but Sango believed that she had been blessed none the less.

Shrugging off her coat and hanging it up in the closet, Sango undid her hair and let it fall around her face. Sometimes having waist length hair had its perks, but in a small diner it was a pain in the ass. Once or twice she thought about cutting a few inches off, but that had been when she was dating Miroku. He had always praised her on her hair, telling how much he loved it, so she kept it the same, but why didn't she cut it now was beyond her.

Entering the living room, Sango kicked off her shoes and grabbed the television remote, immediately turning on the news. Henry Baker would be on in a few minutes to tell how the weather would be and she personally liked to know whether or not to bring a jacket with her to work. While waiting for the weather report, Sango walked over to her answering machine and frowned, there had been two messages but when she pressed the play button nothing happened. Popping open the tape player that recorded her messages she groaned, the tape was missing.

It had been a common occurrence for her to take out an old tape but she didn't remember ever forgetting to replace it with a new one. Shrugging her shoulders she opened the desk drawer off to her left and grabbed out a new tape and putting it in the player. Sang would make sure every morning that there was on in there, how could she have missed it? The weather man's voice drifted into her ears and she shut the tape player and turned to watch the elderly man on the screen. Sango smiled finding out that the snow would be finally coming in, for November it was odd not to see a white snowflake or two, but the rain had taken its place more than a few times already. Mother nature had always been a mystery to Sango, but then again, nature never ceased to amaze her.

She headed down the hallway, turning on her heater before entering her bedroom. There was no point in taking a shower in the morning if it was going to be less than forty degrees outside so she decided to take one before going to bed. Sango would still have to give her father a call and let him know that she would be coming in the afternoon to take him to his doctor's appointment, he never liked to go alone and she smiled. Like father like son.

Her shower was short lived and by the time she was finished dressing and blow drying her hair, she wore a tired frown on her face, something in her daily routine had been off and she couldn't place what it was. It was hanging on the tip of her tongue as she crawled into bed, pulling the comforter over her tired body. She felt kind of off like a dying battery in a clock, something was missing. Laying her head on her pillow, a yawn escaped her mouth and she snuggled into her bed, falling asleep almost instantly, dreaming dreams that she wouldn't remember later in the morning.

The next day had come and gone so quickly it left Sango wondering where it had started and ended. The diner had been so busy that she barely had enough time to take a two minute break before people would be calling for her, asking to be served. She had been short-staffed, but that was okay, she enjoyed the work and when the time came for her to leave, she almost forgot to pull off her uniform. There would be a few crude jokes by the doctor if she showed up to the doctor's office in a short skirt again.

Kagome had stopped by Sango's place for an early dinner, her job at the morgue was a slow one, but it was well paying and the girl had fun so Sango only shook her head. The two of them had shared the gossip and laughed themselves silly on a few occasions, they had always been close. A call from InuYasha cut their girl time short and it wasn't long until the roar of a motorcycle stopped at Sango's and they knew that he'd come. After only two years no the police force somehow he had convinced them to allow him to use a motorcycle instead of a squad car, though he had paid for the bike himself, so who cared right?

Anyway she ended up going to bed early, hundreds of thoughts on her mind as she laid in bed. Like the day before, there had been no messages left foe her and her heart squeezed in her chest. It had taken her most of the day to figure out what was missing and when she figured it out she had frowned. Miroku hadn't called to beg for her to take him back, and at first she had thought it would be relieving but it wasn't. She was accustomed to him calling, it was apart of her daily routine and she couldn't believe that she missed hearing his voice. She had broken up with him, called it quits and now her mind was yearning for him. Go figure.

Glancing at her clock it read eleven-fifteen and guessing that he would still be awake, Sango leaned over and grabbed the cordless phone from her nightstand, dialing his cell phone. It rang for a few minutes and hearing it switch to the voicemail, she felt her heart sink, he wasn't answering.

"Hey Miroku," she was unsure of what to say. "It's me Sango. Look I've been thinking, we should talk and get together. I don't want a phone conversation because they always seem so fake. Um, yeah gimme a call tomorrow okay? I'll be at the diner, uh, goodbye."

Holding the phone to her chest, she slipped away into unconsciousness.

Her smile was wide as she jotted down the orders of the table seven, she hadn't heard her alarm clock go off and it had almost made her late for work. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun and she quickly went to the kitchen only to call out the orders to the chef. Going back behind the counter, she refilled her small apron with napkins and refilled Henry Baker's coffee cup. He always had two cups of cinnamon vanilla coffee. Her brown eyes surveyed the diner before her name was called and she rushed back into the kitchen.

The large plastic tray held the Benson five's orders and as heavy as it was, she was able to carry it with one hand above her head with another held at her waist with her other hand. Exiting the kitchen, she heard the roar of InuYasha's motorcycle and smiled, non-fat decaf mocha latte with a bear claw, but today he was a few hours later than normal. Placing one plastic tray at the designated table, she used both hands for the Benson one and trekked back towards their table.

"Sango!" Something was in his voice that made her stop.

"I'll be with you in a moment, Inu--" She turned around with a sincere smile on her face only for her blood to run cold.

Glass plates and bowls crashed to the ground and shattered, the food spilling onto the floor as Sango stared at InuYasha. In his hand he held the promise rind Miroku had given her and the same one she had given back after the fight. She remembered turning on the radio on her way to work but with the details given she had only been sympathetic to the 'young man drowns in river, police suspect victim fell off bridge."

Sango dropped to her knees and began sweeping the food and broken glass into a pile, she wasn't going to listen, it was only a joke, some cruel joke that they were playing on her and she wasn't going to fall for it. Tears prickled at the back of her eyes, it was only a joke, she prayed that it was. She prayed.

"Sango," InuYasha's voice was softer as he stepped closer. "You have to come with me, Kagome needs you at the morgue."

"NO!" She screamed, her palms digging into the glass. "NO! Stay away from me! Nothing's wrong! Don't you fucking dare play this joke on me!"

"If you don't come, I'll have to arrest you Sango," it was strained but they both knew that he'd do it. "Ayame's brought a squad car, so come on."

InuYasha helped Sango to her feet and held her close as her body trembled uncontrollably. Tears fell from her eyes as the two of them climbed into the back of the car, the bike could wait until later. Sango knew that even this was too cruel of a joke to be played and in her heart she knew that it was real. She clutched her best friend's husband like he was her last life line and cried into his chest, it just couldn't be true! Miroku couldn't have fallen off the bridge, he had been in gymnastics until he graduated!

They reached the morgue an hour later and glancing up at InuYasha, she saw his violet eyes filled with unshed tears, she wasn't the only one hurting but none of them would understand her pain. Kagome wasn't fairing any better but she was trained to be like a doctor, she knew that at the moment her job came first. Sango had been left alone as the stretcher was brought out, he had been covered with a white sheet from his chest down. She couldn't stop the sob that wrenched itself from her throat as she stared down at his still form. Even in death Miroku would always smile. His hair was matted against his face and Sango felt her heart breaking all over again. It was too late, she couldn't say her apologies for never talking to him when he begged her to. It was then that she fell apart.

_**oOo**_

**E/N:** _This wasn't as sad as the first chapter, but I had a hard time writing the end. I've actual had to see someone dead on a stretcher who was close to me back when I was 11 so it was hard because I kept seeing that person there instead of Miroku. This wasn't everything that I wanted to put into this chapter, it's actually missing a lot, but I figured I would just add it on to the final chapter since it was kinda short. _

_Feed back of any kind would be fantastic so I know how you feel. And thanks to everyone who has already reviewed so far! Next chapter when I finish it! REVIEW PLEASE!_

_Until next time, _

**Krystal. **


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha and CO. I do own the plot for this story and right now I own the words because I said so. **_

_Hey there! This is a THREE part STORY! This is **NOT **a story for people looking for a happy ending. ANGST IS NEAR!_

_Updated: **12-21-05**_

_Pairings: Miroku/Sango _

_Rating: Pg-13 maybe R I dunno. _

_**Too late to say sorry.**_

_By Miztikal-Dragon_

_**Part Three **_

The funeral had been beautiful, flowers were everywhere and there was sad laughter. Miroku had never wanted people to be sad and cry because of him so in his memory everyone who attended tried their hardest to smile. The ground was blanketed in snow and the church priest read out of his book and brought tears to Sango's eyes, she still had a hard time believing that it all was real and that he was really gone for good. The small town came together as one giving their condolences to Miroku's grandfather, he was the only family the boy had left and now the elderly man was all alone, exactly how Sango felt.

Kohaku had been there for her, holding her hand loyally throughout the entire service. He refused to leave her side for even a moment and for that she was grateful. Her brother wasn't the only person she had to turn to if she needed a shoulder to cry on but he was her brother. She had been there for him when their mother died and in return he would be there for her. After the funeral was over and Miroku's coffin was placed gently into the ground Sango left, she didn't have the strength to linger around and tell stories about the past. If the other people didn't understand it was their own ignorance, but Kagome, InuYasha, and Mushin would know why she left.

She cried that night and most of the following days after it and even though people around her moved on with their lives, she couldn't. Sure she still went to work on occasion, but with the pay she soon figured out that it was impossible to afford her home. The foreclosure hadn't been that bad, and her father allowed her to move back home with open arms. Rumors started flowing after that mess and as months passed they only seemed to grow larger.

People were wiling to spread rumors and gossip but none of them were open for the truth. Some believed that Miroku's death had to deal with his broken relationship with Sango, other's speculated that Sango herself killed the boy for cheating on her. Well only one girl in town believed that and I'll give you two guesses, the first doesn't count. Yes, it was the girl Miroku had an 'affair' with, if one could even call it that.

Of course no one dared to say it to her face because all it was, was trash talk plain and simple, however, Sango found herself believing some of the rumors that floated by her ears. Deep down Sango knew that his death was her fault, she had blood staining her hands red.

Kagome came over as often as she could to keep her closest friend company. There were nights that she spent the night and it was like middle and high school all over again, a blast from the past laced with tears of anger and sadness. Those nights were usually spent with hard liquor, cold ice cream, and constant supervision, by Kohaku that is. Hangovers were bad but after enough time of getting drunk off her ass, Sango's body learned how to ignore the pain. That's one of the reason's she was fired from the diner, showing up drunk or sitting down halfway through delivering someone's food only to space off and end up starting to eat it.

Yes, Life for Sango was great! She always wore either a frown or a sad look on her face and her father asked on a couple of occasions if the girl even knew how to smile anymore. The case wasn't that, it was that there was no reason to smile anymore and in all honesty she was positive that she forgot how to. The nights that Sango wasn't with someone, which was at least three to four times a week, she could be found at the nearest pub, drowning her pain with drink after drink or playing pool when she needed the cash to buy herself a nice glass of something when she ran out of money.

It happened more than occasionally that Kohaku came to the bar after a call of warning and practically dragged his plastered sister home only to hold back her hair as she vomited on either the street or in the toilet, which ever was closest. Once she had even been arrested for punching Koharu Taniguchi after a big argument broke out. That night Sango had been drier than the desert and she was out for blood.

It was safe to say that Koharu got everything she deserved in spades and Kagome swore that the broken nose and two black eyes looked good on the girl. All the drama that followed Koharui vanished when the cops broke up that little fiasco and harsh homicidal rumors that came with it also ceased. Sango had put the fear of god into all the women of the village, she meant business and was a force that couldn't be reckoned with.

Ten months since Miroku's funeral, that's how much time has flown and Kohaku sat on his bed fiddling with his thumbs. He had plans to get Sango and go to the movie theaters together. It was monster flick week and she had asked if he wanted to go, she was always nice to him because she was his sister and he jumped at the idea completely willing to do that activity with her. It was always rare now a days for Sango wanting to go somewhere other than to a bar or to Miroku's grave where she did nothing but cry and it was driving him crazy with guilt.

He had made up his mind earlier that day and he knew that he would have to confess to Sango what he had done. He couldn't let it eat him alive and he felt that his sister had every right to know. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Kohaku stood and walked to his trunk and unlocked the pad lock. The obstacles seemed so easy but with each second it made his heart pound faster and the trembling of his fingers more apparent. Opening the trunk, the now nineteen year old moved some folders before grabbing the object which was one of the biggest sources of his guilt.

It was a tape, the one that belonged in Sango's answering machine.

Gathering his bearings, he took a deep breath and got up leaving his bedroom. He had given up his mini-apartment so his sister could have some privacy and now he wondered if that had been a wise decision. Although he doubted a lot of his decisions now. Their father was having poker night with the other retired officers and others on the force who had the night off, they were over at Barney's pub. It was the place to be if you were a cop or a retired ol' fart as InuYasha often put it.

He slid open the arcadia door and closed it as he exited, he was walking the long path to where the judgment of his actions would stand trial. To say that Kohaku was scared fell short of what he really felt. He was sweating up a storm by the time he reached her door and knocking made him so jumpy that one unsuspecting movement would surely give the poor boy a heart attack. It wasn't even five in the afternoon yet, but it was as though night already surrounded his entire body. Hot, cold and hot again, his nerves were a mess.

Hearing Sango's voice made Kohaku want to turn and run, destroying the tape while he had the chance, but when the door opened and he was greeted by Sango's soft smile his entire body froze in place. She was smiling? She was right? Or were his eyes deceiving him. Whether she had been or hadn't Kohaku would never know because when he was jerked out of his little stupor, a worried frown marred his sister's face once again. He wanted to run and something told him to but he stood stuck where he was.

"Kohaku what's going on you're scaring me!" She pulled him into her arms and held him close and the feeling only swelled ten fold.

When she pulled away Kohaku fought back the tears that stung at the back of his eyes, the tape in his hand digging into his skin. He didn't want to tell her anymore, he was willing to hold onto his guilt, but the way she was looking at him, it hurt him so much on the inside that if he didn't tell her now he would go crazy.

"Sango please don't hate me," the tears fell freely now and the confusion on her face made more fill his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"What are you talking about?" There was fear in her words and his body trembled as he lifted his arm and stole her attention from his face to what was clutched in his hand.

She didn't understand what he was saying and he knew that she wouldn't, it had been too long and this would he the biggest hurt. Kohaku was reopening a wound that had only started to scab over. He walked into the house, her hand in his, he desperately needed to know that she was with him. The stereo was in the living room playing something soft and he regretted turning it off but he had to. Telling her to sit down he put in the tape and rewound it and pressing play he stepped away and bowed his head. He couldn't look at her, not now.

"Kohaku what's this about?" She asked curiously yet more worry and fear, the silence wasn't welcomed, it was dreaded.

"Saturday, November seventh. Twelve-fifty three pm---" her blood ran cold and she stared at the stereo with he mouth open. "Hey Sango it's me, Miroku…"

The message played out followed by the others and when it ended Kohaku thought that he would die. Sango sat on her couch, her face had gone more than a few shades paler and she stared at her brother like he had suddenly grown a head or four. She wanted to cry because she was so hurt, but all she could feel as the anger. Kohaku had betrayed her in the most personal of ways.

"H-how did you get this?" She wasn't asking him it was an accusation and the interrogation had begun.

"I-" he didn't want to tell her, she'd hate him he knew she would.

"HOW!" She screamed shrilly making Kohaku jump. "How could you do this to me Kohaku? You were sick! I-I was there, I took your temperature--your fever-"

He was near teas as he cowered under his sister. "After I took the tape, I went into dad's fridge and ate some of the soup you make him and put some pin sol in it."

"You made yourself sick?" His answer wasn't possible, her brother, he would never do something like this, not her brother.

"I did it all for you!" Kohaku broke, "I hate him because he hurt so you bad. I hated him because you cried because of him! It was his fault that you were unhappy and miserable! All I wanted was for him to stop calling you so you could find someone better! Someone who deserved you! He wasn't good enough!"

Sango's hand shot out and danced across his cheek like a bolt of lightening and he could see her angry tears as she glared at him.

"But he was good enough!" She was screaming again, her hands tangled in her hair tugging at it madly. "I loved him Kohaku and I never stopped! I can't believe that you did this! You didn't understand anything! He was begging for forgiveness and you took it all away! I blamed myself for his death Kohaku! Me- I-I I wanna be alone."

The one-sided argument ended there and Sango repeated herself pointing to the door. She wanted to be alone, she needed to think. She was angry, but the hurt of not knowing and the hurt of everything else was overwhelming. However, Kohaku didn't move, he looked so lost silently crying as though if he made one move she would rip his head off and use it as a paperweight.

"I don't hate you Kohaku," she was answering his unasked questions in a softer, more soothing voice. "but right now I think you need to go. I need to be alone so I can think okay?"

He nodded almost sheepishly as he wiped his eyes on his arm. She had hoped that he would leave as quickly possible, but he came to her and hugged her desperately, holding her closer than he had done when their mom died. She returned it, but it was a little empty, something inside of her had died, but she held her brother like he did, reassuring him that she still loved him like she said.

"I'm sorry Sango," he choked almost brokenly. "I didn't mean for this to happen."

"It's okay Kohaku, I know," she patted his back for a moment before pulling away, he needed to go.

And he did, the moment she heard the door close, Sango's legs gave out and she collapsed on the ground. Everything had settled in her mind and she didn't know if she could have held herself together if her brother tried to stay. Her tears fell with out hesitation and she grabbed a cushion that had fallen to the floor during the argument. Putting it over her face she screamed all of her anguish and her pain, her heart had broken again and she couldn't take it.

Sango locked herself up in that mini-apartment and listened to that message over and over again, each time believing it wasn't true. She had missed out on the only chance she had to talk with Miroku, she had missed it without even knowing that she had it. It was true that she could have took him up on his offer before, but the message he had left, it was the most important one and she never received it. The chance of happiness that may have been was torn from her like a fish's body in the jaws of a blood-thirsty shark.

There was guilt in her heart and it ached to the point she thought it would burst from her chest and bleed, breaking into a million pieces. InuYasha and a few other officers were the ones who finally broke through one of the boarded and barricaded windows and brought Sango out into the light. Everyone had been worried, Kagome was near tears trying to comfort Kohaku, who decided to live with Sota five blocks or so down the road. He wasn't saying what happened, but they had guessed that it was bad if Sango's and Kohaku's father checked himself into a retirement home claiming that his family was falling apart at the seams.

Of course their father wasn't planning on staying, no one thought that he was that cold hearted, he just needed to get away for the weekend. All three of them did. Kohaku came back too a little while later but Sango, she acted as if she was on a permanent vacation, she had lost everything when Miroku died, she had nothing left to give anyone. She didn't' have anything left to hold onto.. It was apparent to everyone who knew her, but they all were unwilling to admit it, they didn't want it to become a reality.

The snow had come early, late October early November and the town was covered in white. Sango closed the car door pulling her light jacket close to her chest. It may have been near freezing outside, but it didn't matter she wouldn't be there long. She weaved her way through the headstones knowing the direction to her destination by heart.

A sad smile pursed her lips as she sat down in the snow next to Miroku's tombstone and gently brushed away the excess white. Her eyes traveled over the engraved words and the medium sized framed picture of him smiling. She remembered the day it was taken but refused to dwell on it, no more tears. It was what she kept telling herself, just no more tears. Her breath came out in puffs of white air and her fingers were pink with coldness but she wasn't done there yet.

"You know that I loved you," she wanted to hear his voice as she sniffled tiredly. "Everyday you told me that I did but was only trying to deny it. Miroku I thought that you knew me better than anyone else because you did, but I died that day InuYasha came to the diner. I had a bad feeling and when I found out, I-I don't even know how I made it out of that diner alive-or how I've made it a whole year later. They say that time heals all wounds and to a point it does, but the one in my heart, it won't go away. '

"I know it won't because life without you isn't one at all and I found this out way too late. Why couldn't you have held on just a little longer for me Miroku? I called you know, I wanted to see you, for you to hold me close. I wanted you to give me a chance to apologize for being stupid and not listening to you in the first place. I missed you so bad that it tore my heart and it still does because I still miss you."

She couldn't hold back her tears and she pulled his picture to her chest and held him closer than she had before. She hadn't come to pay her respects and move on because she couldn't. Her love for Miroku was too painful to simply accept it would never be real again and move on. She wasn't that type of person, when Sango loved someone, she loved them with all her heart, putting her very soul out on a limb for a chance at true happiness.

"It's too late to say I'm sorry," she continued not bothering to wipe away the water from her face. "If I had gotten the message you left me like I was supposed to you would be here with me and we'd be making up the time lost and-and I'd be wearing your promise ring as an engagement ring. You always wanted a family of your own and I took that away from you. I took a lot from you and I know that! Oh god if I could I'd take it all back just to be able to have you near me again. I made an awful mistake Miroku and I gotta confess. I let the man of my life, my everything go without even a fight, without lifting a finger to help him and I deserved to be torn to pieces for my sins. "

Letting out a deep breath Sango laughed a little, she felt absolutely ridiculous but she needed to get everything out of her system. She didn't want anything on her mind, no emotional baggage to hold onto when she finished.

"I guess I came here to say that it was never your fault, or anyone else's but my own and I need forgiveness. I need your forgiveness because without you I am nothing. I love you so much Miroku. I'm sorry."

Her hand went into her coat and fingers met cold steel. It was her father's revolver. She had rummaged through his old things after he and Kohaku left for the doctor's appointment she made, they wouldn't know it was missing until a while after they returned home and by then it would be no use. The gun itself was a little heavy for her taste, but it would have to do because it was the only thing she could think of.

"I want to tell you something that nobody knows but me," the round barrel touched her temple, she didn't want anyone to know but figured that he should, it was his too. "I was afraid the day I found out about you and Koharu, your one time accident and I didn't say anything for a few months until throwing you out. You see, I'm even more screwed up-I killed our child Miroku.'

"One day it was there and then the next it was simply gone. The doctor said that miscarriages happen all the time but we were strong. I was supposed to be strong for what I was going to have but I wasn't. I wasn't strong enough to keep either of you alive and cowardly I'm not strong enough for myself. Miroku you deserved so much better in life and I'm thankful that you decided to love me. I do love you Miroku, I love you so much and I'm sorry for all the heartache and pain that I've caused. It was never my intention."

Closing her eyes Sango smiled a real smile, her heart felt light and the warmth that surrounded her was like Miroku giving her one last loving hug. It was all she needed. In her mind she remembered her first kiss out on that old bridge and she let go of everything and she squeezed the trigger. She was free from her heartache and all of her pain.

_**-Fin-**_

**E/N:** Okay so I can officially say that I didn't like this ending at all. I don't know why I wrote it but that's just what the hand-to-pen came out with on paper. I can say that it wasn't my best work, but I coudln't find myself to end it any other way. Meh, Flame if it's really that bad. I've been really sick the last couple of day and my voice hasn't fully returned yet but I'm working on it. Hoping to have more chapters to my stories posted sometime during these next two weeks since I'm out on vacation. There's a definite that I will just hoping that I finish more.

Thanks and please leave a review!

-Krystal-


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